


Communication Skills

by myka1231



Category: Naruto
Genre: Canon Compliant, KakaIruExchange2019, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-27
Updated: 2019-06-27
Packaged: 2020-05-20 13:33:23
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,580
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19377736
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/myka1231/pseuds/myka1231
Summary: Hatake Kakashi was labeled as a genius and  ninja prodigy when he was barely a toddler. He didn’t understand exactly what that meant until much later, but at first it seemed like a good thing and he liked it.Kakashi's upbringing left him with communication problems. Could he overcome them when he needs?





	Communication Skills

**Author's Note:**

  * For [minkmix](https://archiveofourown.org/users/minkmix/gifts).



> This fic is for [ minkmix](/users/%5Bminkmix%5D/), whose prompt asked for protective!Kakashi and Kakashi's lack of social skills. I don't know what you had in mind, but I hope you enjoy this.
> 
> This fic covers some episodes explored in canon already, but it seemed necesary to explain Kakashi and Iruka's relationship. Sorry if it's a bit redundant.
> 
> I want to thank my beta [manzokuda](/users/%5Bmanzokuda%5D/). Without her, this fic would be a mess. If any remains, it's on me.

Hatake Kakashi was labeled as a genius and ninja prodigy when he was barely a toddler. He didn’t understand exactly what that meant until much later, but at first it seemed like a good thing and he liked it. His dad was a great ninja, so Kakashi wanted to be a great ninja too.

If only things were that simple. At nineteen, Kakashi didn’t have any idea of how to talk with his peers and preferred to spend time reading if not on missions. He had some friends born of camaraderie or sheer stubbornness (in Gai’s case) but those friendships didn’t improve his communication skills either.

None of it bothered Kakashi until the day he met one Umino Iruka, a chuunin younger than himself whose specialty was getting the Ninja of a Thousand Jutsu, Sharingan no Kakashi, completely tongue-tied and flustered, acting like a fool and unable to explain why.

The first time Kakashi met Iruka was on a mission. As the mission captain, his duty was to know the abilities and weaknesses of his team and so, he read the files of these shinobi. When he went to the gates to assemble them, he had some approaches to the mission’s objective planned and the best fighting formations more or less figured out.

Iruka was already at the meeting place when Kakashi arrived, and the chuunin presented himself with a smile and a nervous blush that were far too sincere for a ninja to utter. It left Kakashi without a single coherent thought in his mind, just blinking stupidly at the sight of Iruka, eyes and hair shining under the light of dawn, looking up at him while Kakashi’s brain turned to mush in his head and not a word came out of his mouth. Awkward as shit, he felt himself get flushed but was saved from further humiliation by the appearance of the rest of their teammates.

Kakashi allowed himself to enter his mission mindset and his weird interaction with Iruka passed to the backburner of his brain as he regained control of the situation. However, he was more self-conscious than ever in his life and hyper aware of Iruka in a new and uncomfortable way. When they finally retrieved the information they needed to end the mission, Kakashi felt very relieved and completely missed the trap set for them.

They were very lucky that no one ended up badly hurt or even worse, dead, because of Kakashi’s failure. Nonetheless, Kakashi still felt responsible for Iruka’s injuries and he was telling the Sandaime just that when the chunin barged onto the rooftop of the Hokage Tower to speak on Kakashi’s behalf.

After Kakashi left the Tower that day, he knew something had fundamentally changed in himself. Seeing the way Iruka shone with happiness as he defied the normal expectations of every ninja in Konoha by choosing a future as an academy instructor had redefined what little Kakashi knew and understood about beauty and, as difficult as it was, about love.

After meeting Iruka for the first time, it appeared that the chuunin was always in Kakashi’s way. At the mission desk, in the training grounds, eating at Ichiraku’s, even the memorial stone. Kakashi took the most logical path when dealing with new and dangerous feelings-- he avoided them at all costs.

Fortunately, Iruka’s new career choice made him predictable and his schedule easy to work around. Unfortunately, that didn’t account for Kakashi’s friends which were also Iruka’s, and were the reason for their second encounter: a night out to unwind with said friends.

That night, Gai had talked him into meeting Kurenai, Asuma and Genma at their usual bar for drinks and companionship. Kakashi, fresh from a grueling mission, was glad for the distraction and complied with him with barely a fight, just enough to keep himself in character. Gai had declared him Hip and Cool and cried manly tears. All in all, everything was as it was supposed to be.

Except for the fact that there were more people at their table than the number previously determined, including Hayate, a promising chuunin and kenjutsu specialist. There were two other ninja sitting beside him. Upon closer inspection, it turn out that one was Mitarashi Anko, Orochimaru’s student, fresh out of Torture and Interrogation after her sensei’s defection. Kakashi couldn’t tell who the last one with them was, but it probably was a friend of the two chuunin. Kakashi was sitting on the chuunin’s side of the table while Gai sat across from him when he realised that the third stranger was none other but Umino Iruka.

Iruka looked uncomfortable and a little stiff while surrounded with the bunch of elite jounin, but when he noticed Kakashi sitting beside himself, he visibly relaxed and seemed glad, as if Kakashi was enough of a presence to feel more grounded and secure.

Kakashi turned into a knot of anxiousness, unable to relax enough to drink or talk. Meanwhile, Gai was observing him with an intense focus and in a serious way no one believed him capable of. Kakashi knew Gai saw too much, so he was in deep shit, busted.

As the night grew later, Iruka looked to be enjoying the time spent with the jounin lot and they, in exchange, seemed charmed by the (at least) tipsy chunin with the carefree laughter.

Kakashi wasn’t keen on drinking. He barely consumed any alcohol at all because it made him fuzzy around the edges: slower, less alert, incapable of detecting the signs of imminent danger before it was too late. That specific night, however, Kakashi would have made an exception, if he could have told anyone to pass him a drink. As it was, he was occupied with channeling chakra to different parts of his body to not react (his cheeks, for example) and trying to stop himself from touching Iruka when he was too high on the chuunin’s smell.

When everyone began to head home, he felt as if he was ten years older, but confident that not all shinobi at the bar noticed his infatuation. Maybe only 50% of them.

Gai, on the other hand, was happily chatting Iruka’s ear off. Suddenly, he grinned at Kakashi and declared that their new friends would need help heading home and if Kakashi could be a fine man and escort Iruka-sensei home while he took care of Anko-san, who looked absolutely fine. Without further ado, they were gone and fading into the dark while Kakashi and Iruka were alone in the streets.

“You don’t have to worry, I can head home with no problem at all."

As much as Kakashi wanted to do as Iruka said, a part of him was aware that the other man had drank more than what sensible people would have. That stupid, irrational part was telling Kakashi to suck it up and go with Iruka, otherwise something bad could happen. Nevermind that they were inside their own village and the most hurtful thing that could befall a ninja was an embarrassing meeting with the ground. Even so, just to make his inner Kakashi shut up, Kakashi said that it wasn’t a problem for him either.

Just like that, Iruka led them across Konoha’s more commercial districts to a residential area.

“It was an interesting night, I must say.”

The sensei’s voice sounded amplified in the quiet whispers of life that surrounded them late at night. Kakashi had to concentrate very hard to keep himself from just shunshining away to skip conversation.

“Maah, I’m glad you think so. Though, with the number of beers I saw in your hands, I’m surprised things don’t seem more captivating.”

Kakashi almost bit his tongue off at hearing how condescending and judgemental he sounded. Iruka certainly would think he was an arsehole.

Iruka let loose a bark of laughter that shook his whole body and when his hilarity had subsided enough, he just said that he was absolutely right. Even if Kakashi didn’t understand the joke, he was relieved it didn’t seem to upset Iruka.

They arrived at Iruka’s apartment building after a ten minute walk upon which they said their goodbyes. Before the chunin could enter his home, Kakashi could hear a whispered “I’m glad we can be friends, at least.”

After that fateful night out, as they were on friendly terms, Kakashi made a point to drop his mission reports at Iruka’s desk. They interacted for limited amounts of time in a controlled atmosphere, so Kakashi could be awkward and flail around Iruka without anyone being the wiser, because he was mysterious and could bullshit his way around everything. The more they met at the mission desk, the more Kakashi learnt to keep up his cool facade during their other encounters.

All that effort paid off sooner than Kakashi could have thought, when he was on his favorite tree reading a book. Suddenly, Kakashi heard a listless sigh that piqued his interest all the more when he saw it came from Iruka, and from the looks of it, meant trouble.

Kakashi told Iruka that he was in his favorite reading spot sighing and that made him interested. When all Iruka said was sorry before taking his leave, Kakashi was grateful for his practice with acting normal around the sensei, because clearly he needed someone to talk to about what was troubling him.

Iruka then talked about his own conflicted emotions regarding Minato-sensei’s son. Funny how Kakashi hadn’t thought Iruka could have trouble commanding his emotions when he seemed to deal with them alright.

Dealing with emotions aside, Kakashi tried to give some advice, but what came out of his mouth was rather cryptic. Apparently, it made sense to Iruka and before he could spout out more nonsensical rubbish, Kakashi decided to leave and not deal with his own emotions about his sensei’s son.

Of course, nothing is as simple as that, so Kakashi was minding his own business a couple of days later when he heard some kids talking about Naruto going to a dangerous place in the forest to make friends. They also said that Iruka-sensei, who knew something was wrong when Naruto wasn't in his class like he was supposed to be, had gone to find Naruto. Instinct took hold of his body and before Kakashi could inform anyone, he was running to look for both teacher and student alike.

When Kakashi made it to the forest, it was painfully clear Iruka needed help as he ran like hell with Naruto on his back from some kunoichi from Waterfall. Kakashi had the presence of mind to signal to the sensei that help was there and then his righteous fury was unleashed to the offending women who tried to harm his precious people. They regretted it by the time he was done because, even if Kakashi’s emotions were confusing and dangerous, this he always understood plenty. He was a genius, after all.

When Iruka came to thank the copy-nin for saving him and Naruto and asked what would have happened if he hadn't shown up, Kakashi told the truth. Iruka would had protected Naruto no matter what.

Although Kakashi came close to losing his precious people and despite the fact that he had to extract payment from those who tried to harm said people, seeing Iruka’s smile at the end of the day made everything better.

For a while, everything settled into a reassuring rhythm. Kakashi was an emotionless killing machine most of the time, but sometimes he evaluated students to appease Sandaime and went to the mission desk to see Iruka-sensei and learn a little more about his feelings. On a few occasions, they met with their mutual friends on a turbulent and adrenaline-inducing night out. Those were far in between because Kakashi wasn’t a complete masochist, just masochistic enough to endure the pain of socializing before reaching the high that spending time with Iruka always gave him. And probably because Kakashi had become complacent with the status quo of his life, something had to give and rip his cool apart.

All was fine when the copy-nin left the village in one of his usual missions, but when he came back a week later, something felt off. Kakashi was aware of the coming and goings in the Academy by now, so he knew that it was on spring break after the new genin passed their exam, but when Iruka didn’t have classes to teach, he volunteered at the mission desk and he was nowhere to be seen. It could be nothing, but when he saw Gai waiting for him with a grim expression, he knew that wasn’t the case.

When he heard about the betrayal of one Academy instructor, he wasn’t surprised. He knew something was off with Mizuki because of doubts raised in regards to some of his missions, but trying to manipulate a student and kill a comrade was beyond the scope of what anyone thought was the problem. It was unexpected, but not a surprise.

After Gai explained what had happened, without great detail, and told him Iruka was under observation in the hospital, Kakashi was desperate to see him. He raced there with a single thought in his mind: Mizuki was a dead man.

When he climbed through the window to Iruka’s hospital room, he didn’t expect to see Naruto sitting beside the bed adoringly holding his sensei’s and snoring softly while the man laid on his stomach to prevent further damage to his back. However, the moment Kakashi entered the room, Iruka tensed and hissed at the movement. For a moment he regretted not using the door, but then he saw the look the chunin threw to Naruto, likely calculating the best way to protect him and that gave him pause.

“Kakashi-san?” The doubt in Iruka’s voice was deep and for a horrifying second, he forgot his progress in his communication skills. With a calming breath and a lot of effort he was able to utter the words stuck in his throat.

“Maa, Iruka-sensei, where you hoping for someone else?” Kakashi said as he eased himself into the teacher’s more direct line of sight to avoid him having to twist his back.

“No, I wasn’t expecting anyone in particular."

“Well, I was walking down the road of life when I wandered here. Did you know that in Icha Icha Violence there’s a scene just like this?”

And when Iruka-sensei flushed a fetching shade of red and his volume increased enough to wake Naruto up, Kakashi was sure that, in the end, they would be alright.

Mizuki’s betrayal had had a silver lining. It had served to bring one Hatake Kakashi closer than what he could had ever thought to Iruka. Kakashi wasn’t about to doubt his lucky stars, but he would have preferred it if the circumstances that made that possible hadn’t been so harsh on the sensei. He knew that Iruka still blamed himself for trusting a traitor and putting Naruto in danger, but there was nothing he could do about it. Only time would scar that wound, but Kakashi would be there every step of the way.

Maybe Kakashi would have been happy with that. A warm friendship and welcome companionship with the man he loved more than life itself. He could have that and died with no regrets. If only he had not put Team Seven forward as nominees to the chunin exams, he would have. But he knew they were ready and that it was the right thing to do.

When he nominated his team as Asuma and Kurenai did, he was confident in their individual assessments, but in the silence that followed he heard Iruka’s shaky breath and suddenly he was regretful for not having discussed his reasons with the man Naruto thought of as family before the meeting. He knew, however, that the damage was done and braced himself to say everything he never meant to say to the other man. The stricken and betrayed look in Iruka’s face was like a punch in Kakashi’s gut, but he powered on to stick to his position over his desire to wipe the anguish from his love’s face. When everything was said and done, he didn’t know if their friendship would be able to withstand such a disaster. For all the times he hadn’t had the words to express himself, he wished he had never had to utter the words that had made a chasm appear between them.

Immediately after the meeting, Iruka sought him out, but Kakashi was faster to avoid him with the discussion so fresh. He knew Iruka would need time to forgive him if he ever did. But how could he explain himself to Iruka? Did he have the courage to do it in the first place? They would have to talk about the tests Sandaime had agreed to place their students through, but Kakashi needed to get a hold of his emotions first, then he would deal with whatever came next.

The day after the damned meeting, Kakashi went through his routine, expecting to avoid seeing Iruka as much as he could, but as always, the teacher had another thing in mind as Iruka went looking for him at the training grounds when Kakashi's team was ready to quit working for the day. For the first time in a long while, he didn’t know what to say nor what to expect from the chuunin sensei.

“Excuse me, Kakashi-san," was the greeting that evening. Kakashi nodded to Iruka in acknowledgement and moved to walk with him toward the center of Konoha in order to not have to stare or be stared at. He didn’t want to give too much away.

“First things first,'' said Iruka with a hesitant air, “I want to apologise to you for having to make you go all Sharingan no Kakashi on me at the meeting.”

With a confused noise, Kakashi stopped walking and stared at the teacher in shock. Seeing that, Iruka just stood in front of him averting his gaze to not look him right in the face, which made Kakashi grateful because not even his mask would have hid his dumbfounded expression.

After clearing his throat with a little cough, Iruka kept talking.

“Well, I have listened to Naruto recount every test, practise and mission you have been through as Team Seven and I know as much as I know myself that you would never hurt those kids just for entertainment’s sake. I also know that my reaction to your nomination was impulsive and that questioning superiors’ decisions isn’t my place. I think that I gave you no other choice other than shutting me down the way you did, for the benefit of the Copy-nin’s reputation. Even if I still don’t agree with nominating the kids for the chunin exams, I apologize for putting you on the spot like that.”

By the time Iruka was done talking, Kakashi was speechless. In all of the scenarios he had imagined them in, he had never put them in one where Iruka tried to make sense of his actions and apologized for forcing him to be the arse he had painted himself as. He should have known Iruka better than that. He was always amazing Kakashi with his thoughtfulness and empathy even to those he didn’t agree with. He was so grateful to Iruka.

“Did you say grateful?”

The sensei’s voice snapped him from his stupor and made him realize that he had said some of his thoughts aloud. Kakashi had half a mind to play it off, but he was still caught off guard enough to completely miss the mark. When he regained his composure to reply, Iruka was looking at him like he was searching for a way into his mind. It was as if he was trying to find the key to decode a complex message.

Fearful of what may be found, Kakashi decided to reply as honestly as he could.

“Yes, Iruka-sensei. I’m grateful you trust me enough to not jump to conclusions from my words and try to understand why I said what I said, instead.”

“It’s the least I could do. We’re friends, after all,” said Iruka earnestly.

Indeed, they were friends, but after their impasse he didn’t want to assume anything. He should have trusted Iruka as Iruka had trusted him. However, expecting the worst was Kakashi's default mode but, even if he was grateful, hearing the word "friends" somehow caused a sharp pain in his chest. Somehow, it wasn’t enough anymore.

“Kakashi-san, is there something wrong?”

Iruka looked troubled, concern written on his face. Kakashi must be really out of his game to be so easily read. But before he could say something more to assuage him, Iruka was talking again in one deep breath.

“I can’t keep pretending anymore, sorry if I’m misunderstanding the situation.”

With those words out of the way, Iruka seemed to brace himself and in the time it took Kakashi to blink, he found himself with an armful of sensei who was embracing him. Suddenly, Kakashi didn’t want to think anymore and for the first time outside of battle, he let his instincts take hold of his body to return Iruka’s hug with his own in a crushing hold. And when the sensei kissed him above his mask, Kakashi could only yank it out of the way, finally realizing that talking wasn’t the only way to practise his communication skills.


End file.
